Can a demotion send you in an up motion?

I ASKED for a demotion... Never thought that would be in my career path. Never thought I would voluntarily go backwards! I woke up the next morning thinking, "Was I high yesterday?" May have been one of the single hardest decisions I have made in my 26 little years!

I know... You want the dirt.. the juice... the reason behind this crazy decision! Well I hope you have time because this could be awhile! haha!!

Last year I took the job as Facility Supervisor with a gung ho attitude! I was ready to change some lives!!! I was scared.. I didn't know if I could do it.. I didn't know if I was ready... But I shot for the moon! I was quickly thrown into a position, and came to realize I didn't really know what I was doing! Over the last year I have spent a lot of time trying very hard to learn the position, the paper work, everything that came with the job. I compare the last year of my life to a 3 ring circus... An out of control circus in which I would spend time in one ring getting things under control and the other two would spiral out of control.. So I would leave and go tend to another ring... and this went on... and on.. and on.... All while trying to have a social life, focus on my health, train for a half marathon, continue on a path of self-discovery, AND living 90 miles from my family for the first time in my life! Everyday was up and down... I would wake up happy and ready to take on the world, and by the end of the day I felt like I accomplished nothing and had no desire to clean my room.. my car... run... eat healthy....

I decided something needed to change in January. I gave it all I had... I changed my eating habits... Running became a part of my life.. Heck, I even won a Wellness Challenge through my chiropractor! But still.... I continued to feel like the ring leader of this out of control circus!

I sat down with myself and said, this can't happen anymore.. for you.. for your company.. for those around you... this must STOP! So the decision of what to do.... demote or find another job... Another job is always appealing... A new chance, new co-workers, new opportunities... But what was it that I wanted? What would I do... After going to the job websites I realized I had NO IDEA what I would do! Secretary? Did I reallly want that or was I just telling myself it sounded like a good idea.

A position came open working directly with the individuals at work... Great hours.. I know all the individuals and co-workers... So I was left with the question.. apply or not to apply... What do I want to accomplish in this life? Do I want to go back to school? What would be my dream job? Can I get there with my current position.... After tears and many many many discussions with my parents, sister, boyfriend, friends and current co-workers I just felt like for me, for my dream, this needed to happen! Someone posted on my facebook, "Some of the best dances start by taking a step backwards first" :)

So, here we are..... I have officially demoted.... I don't know where this will all lead me, but I am excited!

breathe. dream. love.

Teeney bit of Heen!

Lazy Perfectionist

I have always joked around that I am a lazy perfectionist. By this, I mean that when I actually do something... like clean my room I want it done perfect. Growing up I hated cleaning my room.. I mean they didn't call me "Messy Jessi" for no reason... BUT when I did clean my room I did it perfect! Lining up all the little trinkets on my dressers... labeled my drawers.. organized the closet by color. This is how I have done a lot of things in my life. I either do it perfect, or don't really do it at all.

I have always known I was a lazy perfectionist, but I always just associated it with house work. Until now!! I realize I do it in all aspects of my life!! My room, my work, my diet..... And this is why my weightloss journey looks like a heart monitor! Up.. Down.. Up.. Down..........

Its like I become obsessed with new things... engulf my life with it.. and then when I can't be "perfect" and I just stop it all together! Aside from being a vegetarian... I have done this with every other thing I have tried to do! I mean I have given up pop like 53 times in the last year! haha! I feel like realizing this has been the biggest EUREKA in my life so far!! Because now I can recognize it and not fall into a "lazy perfectionist" trap!

Since January 18, 2011... I have been going on a great path! Not a path of perfection.. but a path of success!!

I have a lot of recipes and great new discoveries to share! So I promise not to leave you waiting for weeks like I have been!

Much Love,
Greeeeeeen Perfectly Imperfect Heen

Funky to Fresh

Why hello there... sweet blog of mine!

It has been awhile! I did not abandon you! I was looking over past posts and we have been on a bit of a roller coaster since I started you!!

Soo, I suppose I should update you....... Well, it's not been good! Not good at all! My diet has consisted of Pop, Scooters, Fries, Ranch, Cheese... McDonald's, Runza.... It's just been bad!!! So, what have I been feeling because of this.. TIRED, ANGRY, NEGATIVE! I have been irritable.. crabby... negative... I just have felt inside that I have been going through the motions.

I of course tried a couple times to "diet" "eat healthy" whatever you want to call it... give up pop for the 40th time this year.. NOTHING was getting me out of this FUNK I was in!! I was talking to Liz and Lindz and I would have great ideas and concepts, but I was just not following through!! I got the book A Course in Weightloss 21 spiritual lessons to losing the weight forever by Marianne Williamson (One amazing lady!) This is where things began to click!!!!

This book is helping me to look into why I have issues with eating, weight, and being healthy. I have recently discovered that I like to run away from things! My apartment is messy... I just keep running away from the problem instead of cleaning it! I am doing this with EVERYTHING I don't want to deal with.. Work, Money, etc..... I realized with some of these things I have been running for a couple years... and the problem is not getting better! I am not magically getting money in my account, by not addressing the problem!

Soooo... I set a date and said I am starting with my health because I need to feel good to tackle the other things! So, Monday November 29th I made the change! I decided I needed to go strict for awhile or I would just fall back into the cycle... So, NO pop, NO caffeine, NO chips.. and then I am trying hard to say NO to bread, noodles, tortillas, milk, cheese, eggs...

Day 1-4 were the hardest because of the caffeine headaches! I also had to tackle 4 out to eat experiences. I had a thin crust veggie pizza with NO cheese at pizza hut... soup and salad at olive garden.. eggs and hash browns at ihop.. and a pretzel at the mall! Soo, I tried to make the best decisions at each place. and I feel good about my decisions!!

I am now on day 9 with NO CHIP, POP, or CAFFEINE which hasn't happened in... well EVER!! haha!! Even when I was cleansing last year I had corn chips!! Soo this is huge!!

How am I feeling now.. OMGOSH! MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!! My tiredness has decreased GREATLY!! I am feeling like I have soo much more energy!! My plan is to stick with it until December 23rd, and then pick back up again December 27th. Then December 31st- January1st off and then January 2nd to the marathon.. back at it!

I am glad to be back!!!
I missed you!!!

Peace and Love,
Heen

Operation NiCE!

One of my favorite blogs to stalk is Operation NiCE. Melissa is the blog master who posts about all things NiCE!!! Her consistent positive NiCE-ness is such an inner spark ignitor! She posted a couple days ago about a woman named Michelle who was turning 34, and for her birthday did 34 Random Acts of Kindness!! Which sends shivers of excitement down my spine when I think about my 26th birthday... because I am totally copying Michelle!!


Operation NiCE is turning TWO!! To celebrate Melissa challenged her blog readers to place NiCE Notes around for others to find! She also said to take pictures and email them to her to be posted!! So here is one of my NiCE notes, combined with a little Random Act of Kindness! :)

Random Act of NiCE!

Peace and Love,
Heen

My new found love.... Coconut Oil!

I just discovered the dirty talking, coconut oil!!! I have been using it as a moisturizer for a couple weeks now. Applying it liberally when I get out of the shower, and dabbing it off with a towel. I can already feel a difference in my skin!!

I have been hearing coconut oil is also a great oil to cook with. I have not had much of a chance to try it until tonight... and WOW!! So I made green bean - mushroom stir-fry you could call it, and roasted beets!

Green Bean and Mushroom "stir-fry"

So I heated up the wok with a little EVCO as Rachel Ray would say... aka extra virgin coconut oil.
Then cut up my green beans (fresh and organic from my fave CSA Fox Run Farms!)
Then my mushrooms (not local unfortunately)
And then did the stir fry thing for awhile.
Then pressed two cloves of fresh garlic into the deliciousness.
Then stir and fryed until everything was cooked!

I feel like the coconut oil made it cook differently, and enhanced the flavor differently. I felt when I cooked with olive oil it made the food taste heavy, if that even makes sense. I am now in love with cooking with Coconut Oil!!!

Yo, dj... Give me a beet!

So, this is where the dirty talk really happens!

slice the raw beets.

dollop of coconut oil.

roll the slices in the dollop.

splash of salt.

cook at 425 for about 20ish minutes.

enjoy.

Just beet it.

beet it.

beat it.

beat it.

No one wants to be debeeted!

Peace and Love,

Heen

Guess who's back with a brand new rap!

HEY!!!

So... I always have my blog in the back of my mind, and recently I have been thinking about it more and more!!! I love blogging, but I keep struggling with where I want to go with my blog.... and today it hit me... I want my blog to just go with me! I want my blog to represent me, and all of me! The ups and the downs!!!

I have tried to post a couple times, and it was always feeling like I was repeating myself... or I have already blogged about this struggle! So, I wouldn't write it, or wouldn't post it! But one of the dreams I have for my blog is that it will be relatedable, and people will find comfort in my struggles being similar to theirs and will then find motivation that they to can do anything they dream of!!

Soo, my blog is going to come with me for the ride! Up and down! And I am very excited because we have some great things coming up in the future!!! 8 to Great training in 5 days!! Salt Lake City in a week!! Raw veggie cleanse in a week and 4 days when i get back from UT!!! 10k training for September!! Taking classes online through Clayton College of Natural Health!!!!

SUPER PUMPED!!!

Soo, I will be in touch!!!!
Peace and Love,
Heen